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  • Mindy Abbeduto

How to Get Your Significant OtherMore Involved With Planning

Is your fiancé ready to jump in and help with the planning or is he the more laid back, hand over the reigns sort of fella?

I’m going to share ways to get your guy excited, more involved and great tasks that he can be assigned to handle as your wedding planning adventure begins!

Planning your wedding can be a stressful, trying time in your life. On top of life in general, planning the biggest ‘party’ of your lives can and will add on a bit of anxiety even if you are planning something on a smaller scale. If you are one of the lucky few, your fiancé is right into the mix of planning and is into planning this shin dig together, helping take some of the load off.

Most brides don’t have this luxury. Thats not to say their fiance doesn’t want to help or that she is in this alone, it is just that most guys don’t grow up dreaming of their wedding days. Let’s be real here. The most they know of wedding is that they need to get dressed up and show up! They don’t know where to begin planning a wedding much less all the details. Oh, the details!! Right? In fact, most guys get freaked out and trust that their lovely bride to be has things handled.

Of course, we have it handled! For the most part, anyway. Often when I ask Brides, “How involved is your fiance with the planning?”, I usually get a hefty giggle followed by a "Not much!". They don’t want to nor feel the need to put too much into the details, the logistics, what vibe you both want to achieve. And they DEFINITELY don’t want to mess anything up, so they are fine with stepping back!

Depending on the type of Bride you are, you may take that for what it is and run with it! Yippie! You get things done your way without having anyone to answer to! However, you may want to share this experience with your fiancé and look forward to planning the only wedding you’ll have together.

Make it Fun!

The last thing your beau wants is to be dragged around town as you meet with vendors, check out venues and all the other running around that goes on at the beginning of the wedding planning process.

Making it a fun, enjoyable experience will get him happy to be involved! Think of it as sort of a bartering deal but not one you even need to let him in on. Ha!

Try to schedule your wedding planning meetings and errands together, as in loading up a Saturday morning and afternoon with places to go and people to see. Let your guy know ahead of time exactly what you are doing, who you are meeting, where you are going, what you are trying to achieve and WHY you want him there with you. Don’t just say that you are going to check out a couple venues. Show him ahead of time so he has an idea of what he’s walking in to, you guys can discuss the pro’s and con’s and what features or questions you want to go over while you are there. Get him excited about the meetings and places you are headed!

You’re probably wondering, Ok Mindy—where is this ‘fun’ you mentioned. Trust me, I didn’t forget!! Believe me, this works!

After you are done with all your wedding related tasks, head out for a special lunch date or a dinner date! This is something that you guys can plan before you head out and maybe even pick a place that you’ve both been wanting to try. This gives you both something to look forward to after a long day of wedding planning, but it also gives the two of you a chance to sit down, chit chat about your day and talk about all the important info you just received so that you can both discuss your thoughts and opinions that will allow you to make decisions while it is all still very fresh on your minds.

Have a Little Friendly Competition

Along with the glamorous aspect of wedding planning comes many tedious tasks, depending on how big your wedding celebration is going to be. Have you created a guest list before for a big celebration? No? Well, this is a great way to get your spouse involved to take some of the heat off checking a few of these tasks off the list yourself.

At first, your beau may be a little reluctant to give up his Sunday afternoon to wedding related tasks but again if you make it fun, he may be more than willing to lend a hand!

Make it a competition! Guys by nature are competitive, so let’s make it something that he can enjoy and be the winner in the long run. Make a deal, set the rules and get shit done!

Oh, you have 200 invites to stuff and throw a stamp on? Well, tell him that if can get his stack done before you that you’ll treat him to a nice back massage and vice versa. Make it something that he will really want to work towards!

The Way to a Man’s Heart is though his Belly

Yes, I’m a firm believer in that! Feed a man a good meal and he’s yours forever. No one say’s it must be YOUR food though! Especially when it comes to planning your wedding and choosing your caterer and baker. This is a prime area to get your fiancé involved! Food Sampling and Cake tasting!? Oh yea, count us all in!

This is guaranteed one important part of the wedding planning process your guy wants to be involved with and what is more fun and exciting than tasting a bunch of great food and sampling all those delicious cake flavors?! Um, nothing! Well, maybe some things but come on now. We all love food!

Before you decide which caterers, you want to set up sampling dates with, discuss with your hubby to be what his thoughts are on the meal based on your budget, style. Any certain foods you really want to share with your guests? Any types of foods you do not want to have?

From there, you can start narrowing down a handful of caterers and can start setting up taste testing’s! Many caterers will have you pre-select your top, appetizer, entrée and side choices so they will have those samples ready for you. Most venues who have in-house catering will have specific dates where they invite all couples looking to have their wedding there or those who have booked already a chance to come in and taste all their banquet food options by having a large variety of stations set up where you get to taste all the different choices they have available to choose from. Either way, make sure you go hungry!

Same thing with the cake tasting or choosing dessert options! Couples are opting for doing dessert bars or stations vs just having a wedding cake but regardless of what route you decide to go, there is most definitely some sweet tooth loving taste testing to be involved.

Honeymoon Handover

Talking about anything post-wedding may perk your man’s ears up amid your wild and crazy wedding planning adventure. Bring up the honeymoon and you for SURE have his attention!

If getting your man on board with the wedding planning process is becoming more of a chore or that he just doesn’t have an interest in the planning details, perhaps planning your honeymoon is something that he would better enjoy and would like to focus his wedding planning efforts on instead.

Give him full control! Let him know that you will focus on the day of wedding detail part of the planning if he can take over getting the honeymoon planned and booked. He will love this fun responsibility!

Suggest to him that he plans this in secret and it can be something he can surprise you with. If that is too much for him to handle then come up with a short list of places that you both would love to spend your honeymoon and let him set up the rest depending on where you both choose to go.

That is a pretty good start on creative and fun ways to get your fiance more involved with planning. Maybe these ideas will help generate something that is unique to the two of you that will help get him excited to help with planning or come up with your own twist to make it your own fun!

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